Timeless love

Who really has time for love?
I mean… who really has time for that undying, unconditional, world changing, life altering,
Singing about sunshine and dandelions when its 20° below zero, cutesy wotesy, ‘I love you, now I love you more’, I can’t live without you love?
That scribble your name in my notebook over and over again just to see how my first name looks with your last name love?
That I want to meet your parents to further our connection love?
That you’re my sky moon and stars and nothing is put above you love?
That I’m willing to die for you at any moment love?
Who really has the time?
Who really has the time when there are wars to be fought over security in our homeland?
Who really has the time while poor innocent youths are starving?
Who really has time when our young men are killing our young men before their lives even have a chance to begin?
Our young sisters keep committing bodily sins and all big brother can do is grin?
Who has the time?
Well not me…
I’m too busy walking lines between poetry and politician to realize that it will take more than pretty words to make this world’s tales turn
So instead maybe I should just sit here and watch
Yes I’m too busy walking thin lines between revolution and poetry to imposedly impose my presence onto someone else.
I’m too busy trying to leave an undying legacy that I unknowingly end up dating myself, but can that really be bad?
Can dating myself truly make me either happy or sad?
I mean as long as I’m not sad I’m doing alright right?
I mean as long as 50:50 radioed saline salt water tears aren’t running down my eyes
I’m doing alright right?
I mean as long as creeks and cracks of an old empty house don’t keep me up at night
As long as I can get much needed 8.25 hours of sleep every night
I’m doing alright right?
I mean I’m a cool person so dating myself must be great
Like if I ever need to go on a date I can take myself
I’ll know exactly what I want to eat
What to order because I know my favorite treats
And I can pull out my own seat
And I’ll know which movie I want to see
And give myself compliments
And protect myself from other men
I would always pick up the tab and when I order ribs
I wouldn’t have to be shy when it came in a full slab.
After all, I am the perfect gentleman.
Maybe that’s why I find myself saying to hell with men
My momma always taught me they were rude self absorbed and trifling
So to hell with them
I mean someone there to only promote themselves couldn’t even begin to support my immortal
But people around me talk as though love is some portal that leads to white picket fences, 2.5 kids, a dog, a cat, and three acres of freshly manicured lawn that won’t upset my sinuses
It would never rain, and the snow isn’t cold
There’s always sirloin on the grill
And citrus being squeezed to delight the palette.
No one there is overweight or deals with hyper tension
If you were blind before love would make you see.
I mean love is the mind’s miracle elixir.
I’m sure I care more so for myself than any other man could
But they say love is necessary
You need love to be free
They say love is there for everybody,
But right now maybe love isn’t for me.

TEACHINGS OF NIKKI

"Since i can't go where i need to go . . . then i must . . . go where the signs point through always understanding parallel movement isn't lateral"

"Black love is Black wealth and they'll probably talk about my hard childhood and never understand that all the while I was quite happy"

"Now that you're gone i don't dream and no matter what you think i'm not lonely sleeping all alone "

"I wrote a good omelet...and ate a hot poem... after loving you"

"It seems no matter how I try I become more difficult to hold I am not an easy woman to want"

"rain is god's sperm falling in the receptive woman how else to spend a rainy day other than with you seeking sun and stars and heavenly bodies how else to spend a rainy day other than with you"

"we poets tend to think our words are golden though emotion speaks too loudly to be defined by silence "

"maybe i shouldn't write at all but clean my gun and check my kerosene supply
perhaps these are not poetic times at all"

-Nikki Giovanni

My King

[Somebody loves you baby… ]

I live in a world where a man’s faith is his loss

So he chooses to remain faithless

And in turn be faithfully endorsed

By more of the faithless

This process seems as brainless as

The utensils used to disconnect his body are stainless

Now the only way he can show his love

Would be if he cut out his heart

And used the fresh pumped blood

To write it out on his sleeve

And before this strong man fell to his knees

It would be raw pain and suffering

That would show while he bleeds.

One of his many regrets in life is

That he never got to express love to a seed

So with the loss of his name

Also came the loss of his legacy.

Oh King

Your greatness

Has been overshadowed

The magnitude of your being

Has become hollowed

And only I can Recall your proper name, King.

King

Your existence should be exalted

Virgin rose petals placed at your feet

So that you would never be forced to bare witness

To the agonies of humanly defeat.

My strong black king I feel for you

If I could cradle your soul In the bosom of purity

I would If I could hide your vision

From the distress of living in this world I would

King

I would praise you

Every second of every day

All you would have to do is keep your strength

I would gladly kneel at the feet of the man

Who has built legions of god’s soldiers

To fight the evils that to this day

Still lay at bay

King

You are Remarkable

This is why I will remark

About all of your ethereal accomplishments

I will angelically sing

The gospels of your teachings

And revulsion I would blare

At anyone that meant to cause you despair

My King

I Would Love You

I would show you nothing but the respect that you deserve

And all that I ask you to do is demand it

Demand it from every man woman and child

Of every race, religion, and orientation

Demand to be put at the forefront of society

And never except being last again

King

I would kiss you

With the most amount of sensation

That anyone could ever posses

Where it wouldn’t even surprise me if 500 years later

Your breath still lingered in my lungs

King

Bells would be rung In honor of your name

King

All of this could be your if you take it

Just take it

King, please

The magnitude of my queenliness

Stands for nothing if I’m king less

King

Stand and take back your god given land

It was entrusted in you Just like my heart

You can forget about how their world began

This is how our world can start.

Look at this as me doing my part.

I EXUDE...

I know it's been a while since i've hit you all up, but I have lots to talk about!!!

First and Foremost I realize that it's imporantant for everyone to have passion in their lives...

I.E. - 'To EXUDE'

I personally exude Money... It's a life choice lol.

Others that I know exude other things such as @Malyboobarbee with fashion and hair care and my darling Tony exudes sex... yet again.. lifestyle choice lol.

It's important to exude something that represents you. You should never try to represent something that you yourself don't believe in.

If you're having trouble deciding what to exude here are a few options

Family, Money, Love, Sex, Fashion, Health, Politics, Poetry, Music... there really are an unlimited possibilities

!!!!!Happy Exuding People!!!!!

Lost Soul

Hallelujah!!! Oh thank you SWEET BABY JESUS!!!!
It's been a while since I've felt like what I was doing with my life was what I had been called to this world to do. Those who know me know that I'm an all around hustler. I do what ever it takes to make the money... (please don't take that in a negative light). I am a firm believer in never going backwards in lifestyle and at this point I am a full-time college student with my own apartment pay my own bills just all around independent woman. The things I do in order to maintain this lifestyle are as follows: cashier, parking cashier, senior independent beauty consultant with Mary Kay, Actress, Singer, promoter... pretty much whatever it takes to make it. Yet, even with all of these extra-curricular activities I was not feeling fulfilled. It's been brought to my attention that I take on so many things because I have a fear of being alone, I had to think about that... A LOT! I fear solitude. Why is this? We I'm not sure exactly, but I do know that I shouldn't fear loneliness. My only way of finding this answer would be to call on my Lord to see me through. In these past weeks, possibly months, that I've felt a sense of emptiness I had been lacking in my personal relationship with God. I've been saying to myself that I don't need to go to church in order to have a strong relationship with Him, but in order for that to work you have to make a persistent effort to make that connection with Him. I mean, I couldn't even give you a full gospel song in it's entirety. Im not saying that religion is all about the music, but I'm just saying. From this moment on I need to focus more on my Lord. I figure that once I get that part right then everything else will fall in place. Instead of praying for easy fixes to all of my mediocre dilemmas I should try something different... Possibly...

Lord,
I know that I haven't been the most obedient and humble sheep in your heard, but I come to you now to seek your guidence. My life has been all out of order and the way that I've been living and acting has not been working out for me. People are pulling away from me, those who say that they respect me go behind my back. People have such great expectations of me and I'm afraid that I'm letting them down. Please give me the strength to keep pushing towards success. Please help me follow in your footsteps and gain compassion towards others. Help me gain humility because I know that everything that I do isn't great let alone right. I am only human and no matter how much I'd like to be divine the closest thing that I can get to divinity would be through our fellowship. Please stay close to me lord, keep me in your heart and I shall keep you in mine.
Amen

Here's to hoping... or should I say praying?

Mid-West Tradition

Hello world.

Well I came back home to Winnebago for the weekend and it made me realize even more how Chicago isn't really for me. I had 2 exams and a chem lab on friday and please believe that I was on the first thing smoking back home. As soon as the bus made it in it was hello apple doughnuts, home cooking, and a lot of family time. It made me realize how great the mid west's traditions are. In my mind the mid west is a fall time area because it's nothing but trees, corn and food. Did I mention Food??? I mean no where else have I seen a premium Apple doughnut. As much as I tried to get people to come home with me to enjoy all of the splendor that is Winnebago they just bail, but that's ok because It means more doughnuts for me. If I've gained anything from this trip besides weight it's that I really am a country kinda girl. Im not saying that I want to live on a farm because I hate animals, but I can say that this is the type of enviroment that I can see myself raising a family. Yes that means babies! Perhaps I can handle a relationship after all now that I know what I want, which is my dad... scary, but true. I need a nice country boy who can handle city living.

Well this has been enlightening... please pray for me and tell Jesus to send me

In the Pursuit of Sanity

As I sit here downing a turkey breast sandwich on white bread with miracle whip and hotsauce and some extra yummy arizona rasberry iced tea I'm reflecting on the activities that occurred last night. I was invited to an open mic at my friend's house. Upon arrival I could tell simply by viewing the guest in attendance it was going to be a night to remember. It started out innocent enough reminiscing back on childhood fights and such, then there was a liquor/ narcotics run (that led to liquor no narcotics) then there were lapdances and some inappropriate male female interactions, but then some mind blowing stuff happened. About six of us sat down and had an intense discussion on life and relationships between men and women. Those who know me know that I hold a monthly gathering of young adults and discuss issues that affect us today. This night truly encompassed the essence of my Round Table Discussion. These men and women truly 'dropped knowledge' on everyone in attendence. Everyone had something to say, no one just sad on the sideline everyone was passionate about this topic and it really did bring joy to my heart. The people in attendence were as follows: Me (Alicia Mann), Kory, CJ, Herman, Michelle, and Kalesia. Also known as So-!LL and Team MAK. Here's the basic jist of the whole discussion.



Inquiry: What is it that men desire in a woman? How do they chose which women they would make their girlfriend opposed to just some chick? How important are looks in a relationship? What are the differences between the full grown women and little girls? What separates Grown men from 'Niggas'?



Solution: Be patient. Know how to determine whether a man or women is there to enrich your life or if they are just there to get what they want at that moment. Know what you are willing to compromise in a relationship and if it will truly be worth it in the end. Surround yourself with people who are looking to do better with their lives, when they are doing good for themselves it reflects upon you as well.



Great points of the discussion: A woman can never change a man, but she can make a man want to change.

The actions of a misguided young girl should never be mistaken with the actions of a full grown woman.

Know what you want in a relationship before you go looking for one.



I suggest that if you are interested in getting a clear perspective on how the male psyche works about relationships that you read Steve Harvey's Think like a Man Act like a Lady.



Best of luck to you in the search of love, I'll keep you posted on mine.

Is it sexy?

Here I am a young single black woman in the big city living out my deams and reaching goals... Now doesn't that sound nice? It sounds like everything is everything, but alas I can't shake the feeling that something was wrong with that statement. Oh yes... the single part. Now it seems to me that a young lady like myself shouldn't have to worry about finding a suitable partner, but that seems not to be the case here in Chicago. Now I'm from a small town called Winnebago (but I usually say Rockford because it's more recognizeable) and there I had some standard problems with finding a man. I wasn't a size 2, my hair wasn't long and flowing, and oh yes I was black! Yet, even there I still was able to find half way decent guys to bide my time with, but in Chicago... that's a whole other story. I couldn't find a man even if I tried. Well let me rephrase that, I couldn't find a man who didn't require me to make unreasonable compromises in my standards if I tried. No matter where I look, no matter how hard I try, I can't get a man. What is it that men around here want. Now I have a lot of male friends who give me a list of things they want in a woman, but when I go through the list of women they've been involved with it is completely different. So is this a 'do as I say and not as I do' type of deal or should I just follow what their actions show me? If this is the case I'm going to need to change up my whole classic girl next door image and go for straight: tight short clothing, big long weaves, and so long proper english and hello ebonics. Then again... I could just wait until Dental School when I move away from this strange place. Yea.. That's a better plan.