Whether you're looking for a change of pace or just need a clean slate starting over can be an extreme challenge. At least that's what I've found out within the last year or so. I've made some mistakes in my life and it seemed that I was being punished for each and every one of them at one time. You name it; school, work, money, men... It just wasn't working out for me. I admit that it was rough, but I wasn't able to sulk in a stew of self pity for too long because the problem needed to be fixed. I immediately tried to salvage what was left of my life and as a result I've managed to gain back some form of control. Everything happened so fast that I noticed I never gave myself any time to heal. I simply focused on what was needed to fix the problem opposed to addressing the issues that got me there in the first place. That brings me to where I am now in my life, Purgatory. I'm simply waiting for the next stage of my life to begin. I'm moving to a place that's far away from everything familiar to me, a place where I know no one and no one knows me. I've been blessed to have a second chance and all I can think about it that I don't want to mess it up like the last. I guess it doesn't help that I'm constantly being reminded of my mistakes by the people around me. I truly am starting over... I'm not sure how I feel about it, even though I've had plenty of time to get some sort of position on it. To be quite frank, starting over scares me shitless, and I don't know how to deal with it.
To whoever is reading this, thanks for listening. Just had to get that off my chest.
