Seafood Pasta Salad

I guess that evening wasn't a total lost, I now know how to make a delicious pasta salad.

2-3 cups mixed seafood, chopped. (I used imitation crab and shrimp)
2 hard boiled eggs
1 (16oz) box of multi-colored pasta (not long noodles)
1 cup salad dressing (Italian)
1/2 tsp mustard
1/2 tsp seasoning salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 celery stalk, chopped
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 cup thawed peas
1/2 cup broccoli
1/2 cup sun-dried tomatoes
1/2 cup corn
*feel free to adjust seasonings to you liking

Single is the New Third Wheel

Recently I was invited to a BBQ of my friend's (she was co-hosting) and I was really excited to go. Now I'm gonna be honest, a major part of the reason that I wanted to go was because she rooms with a guy of interest to me. Because of this detail I wanted to take extra precaution that I looked good and that I impress him. So what did I do.. that's right I borrowed my roommate's outfit, did my hair and makeup, then I cooked! Yes, I cooked! I made a delicious seafood pasta salad (that everyone loved). You would think that all was going according to plan right... WRONG! the thing that messed everything up... HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND!!! It was heartbreaking really. Here I was just starting to think that I was about to get out of my rut, No. Given that no one knew he was of interest except for my BFF I saved face and just went along with the party. There was even a point that I thought that the night could be salvaged. Throughout the evening more and more guys showed up which gave me hope that maybe I would find someone, but just as that hope came... it left. Quickly, because every guy there had a girlfriend. At that point it dawned on me that this was a couple's party. I know that it didn't say that on the invite, but it should have. I, as a single girl, was invited to a couple's party. This my friends brought me back to the feeling of being the third wheel. You know when your friend invites you out with his/her boyfriend or girlfriend. Yea... it was like that. There really isn't too much for me to say other than... DON'T DO IT!!! Refuse to be the third wheel because it generally sucks. Two is company, three is a crowd, and in this case I was crowed out because I didn't come as a couple. Although it is generally courteous of people to not invite you when you will be the third wheel, the are generally oblivious of the situation. They will insist that you won't feel left out, and that it won't be awkward, but they are just being stupid. Everyone is guilty of doing this, including myself so it is just best to politely decline whenever invited into this kind of scenario. And if they choose to insist more just get angry and let it all out on them that you don't want to be the third wheel and that the shit just sucks! They'll understand eventually and you my friend will have avoid this F-ed up situation. Had I known what I was getting into before had, I might not have gone, or at least not have cooked. Let this be a guide to you all... if you don't know what exactly is going on ask questions, and if it's not something that is going to benefit you, just don't do it. It will make you happier and you won't be left with a huge bowl of leftover pasta salad.

Perpetual 'Friend-Zoner'

Looking back on all of my encounters with the opposite sex two things come to mind: 1) I tend to really like having them around 2) they tend to love having me around... AS A FRIEND!!! Anyone who has ever been placed in that 'Friend-Zone' spot knows exactly what I'm talking about. Well in my opinion this problem seems to only really get attention when it is coming from the guys point of view. When I was looking up some different articles discussing the 'Friend-Zone' it is almost always written by a guy who was placed in that position by a girl. Given that I am a female and not a male it is just kind-of hard to relate to all of their stories. My life story has been the 'friend', which sucks because it leaves me settling for guys who are sub-standard. I'm naturally a really nice person and it's always seemed easier to be friends with a guy over being friend with a girl because it always gave me less drama, that is until I started liking boys! I think it all started back in grade school, I had a best friend named Tasha and we were basically like sisters, we did everything together, played the same sports, liked the same music, went to the same summer camps. It was at these summer camps that I first realized that although to us it seemed that we did everything the same way, the boys would always try to get me to hook them up with her. They always liked her more even though we were soo alike! She would always have a boyfriend, and because her and the boy were always together that meant that he was always around the two of us (thus giving my exposure to third-wheeling). After hanging out with him he would always be like "man alicia you're soo cool" "alicia you're just a really great person" "alicia I really like hanging out with you because you just understand me" and this would continue even after the boy and tasha would break up. In my head it would have only been natural for the guy to want to be with me because he claimed to always like being around me, but no, instead he'd prefer to be in the relationship with my friend even when they started to hate each other. This scenario has been a constant in my life since then. And it really became a problem because stuff like that can mess with your self-esteem. Whenever a guy would finally show interest in me (usually sub-par men) i would feel compelled to give him a shot just because he's the only that will show interest at all. This is the cause of me having dated all of these 'Sherms'!!! I have finally decided to do something about this borderline disorder that I have so I came up with a few guidelines that should help:
-Stop being nice all the time
-Stop doing stuff for them that has no benefit to you
-Hang around with some other guys, maybe even get intimate with a few of them
-Start acting like you could care less if he likes you, or has sex with you
-Start teasing and being physically playful
-Make it clear from the beginning that you want more than just friendship
Of coarse this is not a guaranteed way to avoid and get out of the 'Friend Zone', but it is a start. It's kinda sad when I could almost got through my entire Rolodex and every male in there consider me to be a great 'Friend' but not actual 'girlfriend' material. Another thing that has to be kept in mind that perhaps with some people it is just best to walk away completely, because who really just wants to sit around listening to a guy complain about how horrible women are as if you aren't a woman yourself, or hear them talk about every conquest they've made. The fact is that some men will always and forever view you as nothing more than a friend. But there are some exceptions, sometimes it really is best to just stay friends especially if a genuine friendship has been forged during you stay in the 'Friend Zone'. This is perfectly fine as long as you realize that that is all it will be and can focus your attention on someone else.
Just keep in mind that though it may be hard and go against your nature, you can always leave the infamous 'Friend Zone' just be prepared to possibly lose a good friend.

Im Done with the Negative

This might seem somewhat like a vent, but yesterday when I was talking to my best mo our conversation left me feeling extra depressed about our human existence. Of coarse we were talking about the relationships between men and women and of coarse he took the position of the cynical bastard who has a negative opinion on everything that is women. Basically he was preaching that no one cares about anyone at all. That no matter what I do a man will always cheat on me just because he can, that all women lie and are controlling because it is just in their nature, that a happy relationship is impossible. Usually I just ignore what he is saying or just agree because he usually seems so convinced that this is the case and he will say it with such conviction that I would feel as though I have no choice, but to believe and agree with him. Every conversation with him would inevitably leave me drained with hopelessness about humanity. I'm not exactly sure what it was about my convo with him yesterday that opened my eyes to things, maybe it was the fact that he ate my food and drank my water and then told me that women are the downfall to society, but I have officially decided to stop really giving a hoot about his point of view. The simple fact of the matter is that he doesn't have everything figured out like he claims, that not every woman is a lying controlling manipulative bitch and that not every man lies and cheats and has a general disregard for people's feelings. There are good people in this world like me who are generally nice and do actually care and try our best to bring out the positive things in every situation. I'm naturally a very positive person! I had to sit back and analyze what it is that he said and why his point of view on women is sooo negative and I came to a conclusion. It's because he, like most men like him, has been jaded by loving someone who did him wrong!!!! It was mind blowing when I realized it. This man, who i have witnessed first hand mind fuck girls into thinking that he cares about them and that they should just do as he says, has been mind fucked himself. To this day, she continues to misconstrue his perception of females. As much as he wants to deny it there was once a time when even he openly cared about women, but through the years he's allowed himself to be guarded from caring about anyone else. After this revelation I decided to take his words for what they were... Bullshit!!! He knows just as much, if not less than me about how things are supposed to work between men and women. Men like him claim that chivalry is dead because we killed it, but the fact of the matter is that if they never messed with these unappreciative women (the ones good women usually warn them about) then this never would be an issue. I may come across as naive or just plain stupid to some as far as what I want in a man, and me wishing and having hope that one day I will find someone out there that is just right for me, but I least I still care. I was hurt before too, but I 'manned-up' and moved on. I know this may seem a little Gigi from "He just not that into you", and I know that life doesn't always work out the way it does in a movie, but people we still have to care. What fun is living in a world where your friends no longer care about each other. When I asked him the simple question of whether he cares about me or not, all he did was start rapping some song (all 3x that I asked). I'm not gonna lie it hurt, because I care. I do a lot for the people I care about and all I ever ask in return is for some appreciation (which really isn't much). All in all, if you don't take anything else from this rant, I want you to just remember this, Life and people are worth caring about... despite how often some people let you down. Not everyone gets to have a fairy tale love, but it happens enough for me to have hope that I can have that too.

On The Menu

Stuffed Tilapia

Ingredients

1 Small Onion
1 Rib Celery
4 Tbsp Butter
1/4 cup fresh Parsley
1/2 cup Bread Crumbs (plain)
1 can drained and flaked Crab Meat
1 Tbsp Lemon Juice
1/8 Tbsp Cayenne Pepper
6 Tilapia Fillets
1 tsp Paprika

Directions

* Chop onion into fine pieces
* Mince celery into fine pieces
* Sautee onion and celery with butter in frying pan until tender
* Add parsley to frying pan
* Remove frying pan from heat and stir in bread crumbs and crab meat, together with lemon and cayenne pepper
* Grease a 9x13 inch oven pan
* Spread the crab meat mixture over the Tilapia fillets and roll them up
* Place the stuffed Tilapia in the greased dish, seam side down
* Sprinkle melted butter and paprika powder over the stuffed tilapia
* Place the stuffed Tilapia in the oven and bake the rolls at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes
* Remove from oven, cover, and let sit 5-10 minutes
* Serve and Enjoy!

Number of Servings: 6

Goody Girl Championship Potatoes

Ingredients

• 1 package dry form crab boil (recommended: Zatarain's)
• 3 pounds red potatoes
• 1 pound thick-cut bacon, diced
• 1 cup diced red onion
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 1/4 pound butter, at room temperature
• 1/4 pound finely shredded Cheddar
• 1 green onion, chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• Salt and pepper
• 3/4 cup sour cream

Directions

Fill a 6-quart pot 2/3 full of water; add the crab boil and mix until blended. Cut the potatoes in half and slice into 3/8-inch thick pieces. (This can be done ahead of time; cover the potatoes with ice water until ready to cook.) Add the potatoes to the pot. Bring water to a boil and cook the potatoes until fork-tender.

While the potatoes are cooking: in a medium saute pan on medium heat, cook bacon until crispy; remove and drain on a paper towel. Add red onion to bacon grease; cook until caramelized. Just before onions are done, add garlic and cook until lightly brown.

In a bowl, place butter, 1/2 the cheese, 1/2 the bacon bits, 1/2 the green onions, the cooked red onions and garlic, cayenne, paprika, salt, pepper, and sour cream; mix together thoroughly.

Strain potatoes and add to bowl; let stand for a few minutes or until cheese starts to melt. Fold ingredients together, trying not to break up the potatoes excessively. Top with remaining cheese, bacon, and green onions.

Doing Nothing to Get Something

So I know that most of us have heard the saying that when you stop looking for a man you'll find one. Well my best bud Tony dropped a little more knowledge on me that expanded this theory. He says that in order to get a man to take you out you have to act like you're not trying to get taken out. At least this is the case for him i guess, because when I asked my other friend mike he had a bit more stipulations. Basically tony was saying that he refuses to take a girl out that is always trying to go out. To him this girl (the one that is always hinting that she wants to go on a date) is not even worth his effort because to him all she is saying is that she wants him to spend his money on her. My initial defense to this was that if you don't at the very least make subtle hints that you want to be taken out how will he know that you would want to go, because a lot of times guys act like they are too afraid to ask a girl out because of some fear of rejection. His answer was simple, if the dude is too scared to ask you out then you don't need to be messing with him in the first place. His point of view is that a 'real' man would take it upon himself to ask the girl out. In my opinion this seems like something where the man wants to control the situation. Let the man be the man basically. So I decided that I would try to take this approach. When ever a guy of interest would come around and he would ask me what it is that I like to do I would just say, "nothing much, just chill, you know, I'm not really on anything in particular just whatever seems fun. I'm just a chill type of person." But to my dismay he would start to die laughing at me and say that my choice of words just wouldn't work. It was to the point that I was ready to give up on project do nothing, but then later that night Mike came through and offered me some advice. He basically just told me to do to some guy of interest the same as I would do to either him or tony. This became a bit more do-able because even though I am typically a very nice individual I tend to be more caring and patient towards them than with other guys. For example, when they come over to my house to chill I usually will make drinks, cook something for them to eat, and if they are spending the night make sure that they are comfortable on the pull out mattress. When I sat down to think about it I don't really do this stuff for anyone else that comes over, unless I'm hosting some kind of event. So there it is, my plan of action, do onto others that I would do to Mike and Tony... cool... I think I can handle that. Wish me LUCK!!!

Do you date a sherm???

Lately there has been a lot of discussion in my circle of Moes (Me, Michelle, Kalesia, Tony, and Mike) as to why girls date shermed out dudes. The topic itself causes a lot of conflict and controversy because in the end a lot of people are to blame. Let me give you the definition of a sherm.
A sherm is a person who just really has nothing going for themselves socially or physically, usually used to refer to a person without a job, not very smart, and lazy. Someone who really has no dreams or aspirations for themselves and always look to someone else to provide them with essential things that they fail to provide for themselves. The reason this becomes such a heated discussion is because no one wants to be the blame for why shermed out dudes get with respectable females. My friend Mike just recently stated that it's the woman's fault because of her natural desire to control their man. In his words " you can't control a real nigga, but you can control a sherm'. For example if you ask a 'real man' for his phone and he doesn't want you to see it he won't give it to you, but if you ask a 'shermed dude' for his phone he will give it to you because of his lack of self respect. Now this concept is still pretty fuzzy to me because it seemed that they kept saying that a 'real man' won't just do what a woman asks, but if they won't do what we ask what is the appeal? Why is it that I can't find a man why great credentials who will also do something that I ask them to do on occasion? I guess I'm just asking for too much because I don't want a sherm, but these 'real men' seem kinda harsh. Now this is going under the assumption that my friends mike and tony are 'real men' which for the most part I would say that they are, but i guess it is just hard for me to grasp why this is all of the woman's fault. I think that fault falls on a lot of people and that in order to resolve this issue everyone really just needs to be more selective.

In the Process of Getting My M.R.S. Degree

Yes, yes, yes, I know... It has been a long time since i've had the time to blog about something. Well let me give you guys a quick overview of my life. I finished my junior year in college, but to much dismay I am now in academic purgatory so im taking classes at another college. I am now pursuing a degree in political science with a concentration in Urban Politics opposed to Chemistry. I started off single, got in a relationship, and now I'm single again. Along the way I've managed to maintain my close net of friends and gain a few new acquaintances. Now that I'm starting to get my life back on track I am in hot pursuit of getting my M.R.S. degree. Now I know what you're thinking... what the hell kind of program is that and where is it offered. Well my friends during some independent study I came across the term and it was often used to refer to women who went to college in the 1950's only to obtain a husband. You won't find this degree offered at your local state funded institutions of higher learning. No my friends this one can only be gained by finding yourself a bonafide husband! I've grown wearing of the casual dating thing... even though I haven't really gone casually dating in a really long time, nonetheless the concept of it all seems overrated. So I am now on the hunt! Just in case a few of you are interested in how to gain this special degree here are a few requirements:
-Must be able to handle domestic affairs
-Excellent Cook
-Impeccable house keeping
-Attractive (physically and personally)
-Socially Adored
and it would help to have a man in mind.
Good luck with your journeys ladies... I'll try my best to keep you updated with mine!!!