As of lately, the reasoning for my single status has been brought into
conversation with a few friends of mine. No matter what we are talking
about the subject always turns to how I need to find a man. While I
might disagree on 'NEED' for a man at the time, I can't ignore the fact
that I have been single for the past 2+ years. I hate discussing this
topic because the question 'Why are you single?', always pops up. The
fact of the matter is I DON'T KNOW! Honestly, if I had any clue as to
why I would probably be able to fix the problem. Now I've been told
many reasons why by others, but if I were to put a complete list
together there would be way too many things 'wrong' with me, which would
thus lead to a great feeling of helplessness. And I don't need any of
that in my life right now. Perhaps the most current reason I've been
told is that I lack assertiveness. This one caught me off guard,
because in general I thought of myself as an assertive person, but upon
further review I realized that I was actually passive in pursuing a
relationship. There was once a time that I didn't think twice about
telling a guy how I felt about them, but to most I was seen as nothing
more than a good friend/sister. Inevitably the thought of rejection
paralyzed me and I adopted a new mentality that if a man wanted me that
he would make the first move. Unfortunately, these days quality men
are few and far between and like me they have grown afraid of possible
rejection. Thus leading to people like me being in situations where the
people like each other, but are too afraid to actually admit to it.
This is sad, because all it takes is one person to be brave enough to
take that first step and chances are that the other person has been
feeling the same way. So here is my pledge... if and when it is
possible to tell a guy how I feel. Lets hope that this plan doesn't
back fire and ricochet me back to my passive ways. 

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