Do you date a sherm???

Lately there has been a lot of discussion in my circle of Moes (Me, Michelle, Kalesia, Tony, and Mike) as to why girls date shermed out dudes. The topic itself causes a lot of conflict and controversy because in the end a lot of people are to blame. Let me give you the definition of a sherm.
A sherm is a person who just really has nothing going for themselves socially or physically, usually used to refer to a person without a job, not very smart, and lazy. Someone who really has no dreams or aspirations for themselves and always look to someone else to provide them with essential things that they fail to provide for themselves. The reason this becomes such a heated discussion is because no one wants to be the blame for why shermed out dudes get with respectable females. My friend Mike just recently stated that it's the woman's fault because of her natural desire to control their man. In his words " you can't control a real nigga, but you can control a sherm'. For example if you ask a 'real man' for his phone and he doesn't want you to see it he won't give it to you, but if you ask a 'shermed dude' for his phone he will give it to you because of his lack of self respect. Now this concept is still pretty fuzzy to me because it seemed that they kept saying that a 'real man' won't just do what a woman asks, but if they won't do what we ask what is the appeal? Why is it that I can't find a man why great credentials who will also do something that I ask them to do on occasion? I guess I'm just asking for too much because I don't want a sherm, but these 'real men' seem kinda harsh. Now this is going under the assumption that my friends mike and tony are 'real men' which for the most part I would say that they are, but i guess it is just hard for me to grasp why this is all of the woman's fault. I think that fault falls on a lot of people and that in order to resolve this issue everyone really just needs to be more selective.